It’s always people that have never worked who hate immigrants

“The fucking woman walking around Asda in a onesie and slippers at tea time, shouting “Shut the fuck up!” at her three screaming kids; Keanu, Shaniqua and fucking Beyonce.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to turn into a fucking Channel 5 ‘documentary’, slating everyone who claims benefits. You have to admit that there’s a scum class though.  

Three generations of lazy bastards who start sweating just thinking about working the fucking Sky remote. It’s a tiny percentage but still, they exist.

You know the type. The fucking woman walking around Asda in a onesie and slippers at tea time, shouting “Shut the fuck up!” at her three screaming kids; Keanu, Shaniqua and fucking Beyonce.

They fucking hate immigrants don’t they? Because the cheeky bastards come over here and steal all the jobs that they didn’t  apply for.

They’re all there on the English Defense League marches, rallying against ‘them muslamics’ with arms like toilet walls before getting pissed, jumping in an Asian taxi then buying a fucking curry on the way home.

No one is stealing a job from you, if you think a CV is a fucking sexually transmitted infection you dumb cunt. 

Who needs politicians when we’ve got Barry from Morrisons?

Yes, Theresa May has cut more coppers than any terrorist, but you can’t fault the response of our emergency services after these horrific events, irrespective of how thin on the ground they are.

And in the wake of tragedy, as the country rubs it’s eyes in disbelief once more, after turning on the tele, Barry, who works on the fish counter at Morrisons, is recording a video on his iPhone to later share on Facebook,  with all the fucking answers. 

The video will obviously prove invaluable to the cabinet office, the police and fucking MI5, who’ve been toiling through the night looking for resolutions.

They hadn’t considered Barry’s pearls of wisdom like putting ‘boots on the ground’, ‘giving every officer a gun’ and employing a fucking  ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ policy.

Yeah, our Barry, the fucking genius that he his, wants martial law with psychopaths, because that will really stop a fucking a transit van carrying three pricks with kitchen knives won’t it?

People like Barry need to shut the fuck up. There isn’t an easy fix for this shite.  We can’t just turn it fucking off and on again.

I’ve just been on Right Move and found half the fucking NHS for sale 


Not content with making the country more defenseless than a Miss World contestant being judged by fucking Donald Trump, robbing your granny’s house, maiming small animals and letting your children smell some fucking corn flakes for breakfast.

The Selfservatives have also backed The Naylor Report, which suggests that in order to help the NHS, the government must sell off its assets, in a fucking Safe Style UK buy 2 get 1 free frenzy.

They don’t even hide this shit anymore. The Cuntservatives are more short sighted than fucking Micheal Gove’s missus.

It’s all about what can we do to raise funds now? Like a fucking smack head scouring his flat for shit to sell cheap to Cash Generator,  then ripping out his gas fire in the middle of winter to flog for a fucking £10 wrap.

They’re either supremely fucking ignorant or they they can’t be arsed dealing with the cluster fuck that will be Brexit.

You see that? People are celebrating

You won’t fucking win, how can you? Waging holy war with a country full of people who begrudge going to church for a fucking christening, is like a butcher starting a price war on sausages with a vegan greengrocer. It’s fucking madness.

Thousands of people are out in Manchester tonight in spite of yesterday’s attack. Men, woman and children singing, dancing, smiling. Happy and free. A little bruised and battered yes, but united and happy. It’s the biggest FUCK YOU they can send.

That’s the thing about progress, it keeps moving forward. You’re not selling your utopian dream of sending us all back to the dark ages very well. Where’s the incentive? There’s not even a fucking £5 music voucher on offer! Oh yeah, there is no music, I forgot.

Listen. We’d take these attacks daily rather than succumb to your warped ideology. You could kill everyone in Manchester, and Liverpool would have a fucking concert instead.

Fuck You.

Don’t fucking pray for the victims it’s why we’re in this mess

Before anyone starts, no I don’t know all the fucking facts and yes, I am jumping to conclusions. 

If this latest attack turns out to be over a drugs debt then I’ll eat my fucking hat. Face it. Another weak minded cunt has thrown his life away to indiscriminately murder innocents, on the say so of some fat, poisoned fanatic on the other side of the globe.

So here we are again. Prayers, flags, strength and unity. Blah blah fucking blah.  I’m sick to the back teeth of it, and no, I’m not terrified yet, just severely fucked off with the stupidity of these superstitious backwards thinking morons. If you want to top yourself eat some pills like every other cunt you twisted fucks.

I’m painfully aware that not all Muslims are terrorists. It’s a phrase that shouldn’t need saying, yet I find myself repeating it more and more. ISIS kill more Muslims than anyone else, let’s not lose sight of that.

I’m an atheist. I’m a little old fashioned in that I believe in shit that can be proven.  I try my fucking hardest to be respectful of everyone’s beliefs but I can’t stand the way that 2,000 year old world’s can by interpretated in a million different ways and skewed to fit a murderous agenda. 

Not just Muslims,  all faiths. Like the fucking bible belt nut jobs in the US picketing fucking soldiers funerals.

From what I gather, every religion on earth is essentially a guide to a decent life. A ‘how not to be a cunt’ handbook if you like.

Let me put it this way. If you think your god is going to reward you for murder then you’re not religious.  You have a fucking mental illness.

But please. No more fucking prayers, not today.

Britain’s Got Talent!

Probably. I don’t watch that shite, but I wanted to write something relevant for likes and shares being the whore that I am, like your mam.

Seriously though, I do like to watch the final. That way I can tell who the next presenter of Big Brother’s Bit on the Side is going to be by looking at the fucking runner up.

I can then avoid all the fucking vacuous gobshites in the smoking area at work, when I hear one of the gravel voiced cunts mutter his  or her name between B&H plumes. 

I’ve nothing to add really. Does it exploit personal tragedy with sad music and an orange hue like X-Factor did/does? I don’t watch that shite either you see.

I’ll still prefer Leonard Cohen’s version of Hallelujah, no matter how many times an obese loser with a fucking dead granny shits all over it.

So yeah, anyway, the music guy won it even though that bird who loves getting her baps out promised that little girl she’d win. What a cunt.

Everyone thinks they’re a politician!

It’s not really true that is it? Just because you’re an ignorant cunt, who’s oblivious to the political shit storm currently smashing through the country like Eric Pickles with a box or Jaffa Cakes, it doesn’t give you the right to write off everyone with an opinion because ‘it’s boring’, or you struggle to follow it all like Diane Abbott in a fucking year three maths class.

This post is aimed that the “It’s just people in suits chattin shit innit” camp. You know, the fucking type of cunt who gives you the name of a  Britain’s Got Talent act when you ask who they’re voting for. 

You know the ones. They watch fucking Gogglebox because TV alone is too difficult, they need to watch other mindless simpletons watching it for them. 

No we’re not ‘experts’. We just happen to just give a shit about the horrendous state of the country, the world and humanity as a whole because we’re fucking terrified for our kids.

By all means though, keep watching people fucking in TOWIE, or people’s dreams getting shattered in The X-Factor and we’ll stop posting all this distracting unimportant stuff.

God forbid we interrupt your fucking ‘News’ Feed of food pictures,  ‘funny’ cat videos and fucking gym updates to try and sway you’re tiny mind in one way or another.

I’m not a bleeding heart lefty liberal snowflake buttercup

I don’t need a fucking ‘safe space’ and I don’t get outraged on behalf of others by everything I fucking read.

I’m not vegan and I don’t believe there’s 568 fucking genders. I don’t think people with different views should be banned from expressing views or debating at universities. If the liberal left want to be taken seriously then YOU need to sort all this shit out.

I am however a human being. I’m nothing special and neither is any other cunt. We’re all the same, a virus on earth destroying everything we touch. We’re literally scum but, all scum together, there’s no hierarchical system of scum. No scum is superior.

I can’t stand the world we are living in though. I can’t read an article without becoming incensed, not faux outrage, like being angry on behalf of some fat bastard who’s face is spunked accross a tabloid front page because he’s “offended” at being asked if he wantd a fucking grande coffee in Starbucks instead whatever a fucking small one is.

Im talking seriously fucked off, real 100% outrage. I’m insulted that people think Donald Trump is an alright guy because they haven’t got a basic grasp of history, or can’t be arsed watching the news and learning about the fucking world around them.

I’m annoyed that you can’t punch a racist cunt of a Nazi, and that instead you’re expected to engage these backwards, knuckle dragging, spunk buckets into a debate instead.

How can you engage with someone who thinks they’re better than someone else based ethnicity or beliefs in 2017? How can you argue with stupid cunts who call lies post truths and alternative facts?

I’m all for hearing people out and debating things I believe in, but if you’re a Trump supporter I’m fucking done with you.

I’ve listened to idiots tell me that when he’s President “he’ll have no real power and everything will have to go through Congress”. Bollocks, in his short time as leader he’s already angered the natives, divided the country, tried to ban Muslims, ruined health care, raised serious questions about Russia and given up on the environment.

Brexit negotiations is all you fucking talk about!

Not that I’m complaining, but the Conservatives have fucked themselves more than a 70’s teenager who’s just found the underwear section of his mam’s catalogue.

All they talk about is fucking Brexit negotiations, which is strange, because the tories usually have the utter stupidity and ignorance of the British public nailed, like fucking Kim Kardashian for fame.

‘The majority’. The cunts you’re trying to appeal to, don’t fucking care about negotiations. They forgot about fucking Brexit the day after they voted to fuck the country like an ex PM’s pig.

This will backfire like a fucking Lada on a hill. You have you nothing, fuck all. Just insults, slogans and Brexit.

Here. I’ll fucking sum your campaign up in a few lines for anyone who doesn’t want to fall into a coma trying to watch your ‘debates’

Corbyn is a terrorist.
Strong and stable.
Coalition of chaos.
Will of the people.
Frustrate the negotiations.

Sean Spicer asks to stand further away from the fan that Trump keeps flinging shit at

Shit Melissa McCarthy impersonator and Presidential bull shit deflector, Sean Spicer, has reportedly asked President Trump if he can distance himself from The White House.

An anonymous source said that the tiny Castrato pleaded with the President ‘like a hoe for crack’ not to face anymore press after his latest controversial decision.

He reportedly said; “I can’t take this anymore Donny. They’re like wolves waiting to tear me apart. I can’t defend the indefensible no more. I can’t do it.”

Mr. Trump is alleged to have responded; “This is going to be a walk in the park compared to when I tell them about dementia tax. Theresa has some incredible ideas.  Amazing. Magnificent.”