REMEMBERING THE LAST TORY CONFERENCE
“Throughout her speech, the letters on the wall behind her magically dissapeared like a dossier on paedophile MP’s.”
He’s completely unaware that you’re raking in thousands of pounds in advertising revenue and chucking him a few fucking crumbs off the table.
“Badge it up however you like but it’s just an excuse to laugh at poetry man, who inexplicably appears in every fucking series like Miranda Hart in Miranda.”
People are always full of wisdom when it comes to debilitating illnesses they’ve never had. It’s like I always say to my neighbour who suffers from chronic emphysema;
“Have you tried Benylin?”
“50 people dead and 200 injured! This is what happens when you mix heavy weaponry with fucking Country music.”
“He admitted to Morgan that he was anti abortion, even in the case of incestual rape. Which is funny because I heard Kalashnikov was vehemently against gun crime.”