Matt Hancock Struggles with Tear 2
Matt Hancock broke down on GMB this morning as his core program tried in vain to emulate a mixture of the human emotions; elation and relief.
As he wiped away a “tear”, his biomechanical skin shell failed to produce a viable second one, leaving him flailing for the remainder of the interview, like an ambivalent bargain bin Rigsby from Rising Damp.
This isn’t the first time a Tory MP has tried to show off his or her humanity. Back in 2018 Theresa May tried to ‘get down with kids’ by famously “dancing”, which resulted her looking like a cadaver being electrocuted.
Michael Gove also tried passing as a human being once by admitting to taking the social drug, cocaine.
Highly unlikely considering no one would willingly hang out with a giant slug regardless of how high they are, how many free drugs are on offer, or how fucking imperative it is to tell the most important story in the world before inevitably forgetting it.
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