David Dickinson deployed to Brussels to secure last minute real deal
7ft twat jawed gimp and antiques enthusiast, David Dickinson, was reportedly hurried to Brussels under the cover of darkness early this morning.
At around 1:20am BST the flamboyant, besuited, Disney cartoon bear boarded a private jet, flanked by government advisors and five excited elderly women who reportedly follow him wherever he goes.
In a tense stand-off between Prime Minister Boris Johnson and the EUs Chief Negotiator, Michel Barnier, onlookers said a clearly agitated Johnson was about to give Scotland away when the bronze Duke intervened.
“Can I just stop you there for a minute Boris? Now, Michel’s been a bit naughty haven’t you?”
“Now, the independent valuers tell me that Scotland is worth a pretty penny. So, if I were you I’d have a long think before signing on that dotted line.”
Dickinson reportedly interrupted a further seven times during the fraught discussions, before the real deal was finally struck, and he is now flying back to the UK to have a word with the DUP.