Facebook basically epoxy resin videos noodle repairs and a constant stream of despair
Remember when you used to actually see your friend’s posts on Facebook? It was cool for a time before you realised they’re all narcissistic, cat obsessed cunts intent on showing you their fucking dinners.
Ah, simpler times. I miss those days, seeing how far Kev ran on map my run and wondering why auntie Barbera commented ‘lovely x’ five times on a picture of a stranger’s baby she’d shared.
Then Brexit happened. Instant online civil war between academics and cunts. I seem to remember everyone, myself included, writing trite sentiments about us all getting along.
Secretly we were fucking livid of course, at first unfollowing people before an inevitable outright cull. It’s sad when you realise that you get on better with a bloke you met on a one day work training course 4 years ago than your own fucking brother.
Then they started pissing about with algorithms and more ads, which is fair enough. Facebook is a business after all.
It started off innocent enough, Wish adverts for index finger gloves, plastic scalpels and a whole range of ‘what the fuck is that?’ items.
You’d make an off the cuff comment about how your mate Charlie was ruining your life and a fucking Talk to Frank ad would appear. Nothing odd about that, but then, before you knew it you were stood in a Russian primary school casting a vote for Putin.
And now there’s just hundreds of videos of people pouring expoxy resin into things or fixing fucking space shuttles with dried noodles. Nuts eh?
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