007 not allowed to retire until he’s 75 in latest ‘No Time to Die’ Bond film
Daniel Craig is set to reprise his role as James Bond for one final time in the 25th movie in the franchise.
In it we see an elderly, world weary secret agent who should’ve retired long ago, but can’t because some bald, grinning cunt raised the pension age to 75 decades earlier.
‘We wanted gritty realism this time’ says the film’s director Alan J. Levi. Probably.
‘Long gone are the cocktails and sexy women, a read of the papers and a nap are all our protagonist really craves now’.
The film will deviate massively from the familiar, with scenes about struggling to piss freely and getting an early night in taking centre stage.
There’s only one scene involving a gun in fact, it’s right at the of the film when Bond, just back from a prostate exam, opens a letter revealing just how much he’ll receive in state pension.
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