Obese people advised to take up smoking by The Department of Health
Cancer Research UK state that being a fat cunt ’causes more cases of some cancers than smoking’ including bowel, ovarian, kidney and liver.
With obese people now outnumbering smokers 2 to 1, or 4 to 1 in physical terms, The Department of Health and Social Care have set out guidelines urging fatties to start chonging bifters.
Conservative civil servant, Jeremy Frale said;
“It makes logical sense in that smokers tend to be thinner, and most people would agree that two cancers are better than four.”
“From a purely economical perspective, smokers also die younger and in beds that don’t need to be reinforced, saving the taxpayer millions.”
Conservative leadership contender, Boris Johnson, has already backed the policy, launching his new slogan;
‘Free baccy for dossers’ which he painted on the side of a miniature bus made out wine crates and insanity.
It is thought that Jeremy Hunt will oppose the decision in his leadership bid, however he has refused to comment so far.
Like a two year old with sweets, Facebook don’t like sharing these articles which is diminishing the already meagre income they generate. So, if you fancy supporting my quest for writing fuel (booze) please consider a small donation.
Donate with PayPal here