Everyone excited about an extra 15 minutes of simpletons trying to fuck

Everyone excited about an extra 15 minutes of simpletons trying to fuck

27th June 2019 Off By Tuckered

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never seen a single episode of Love Island.

As far I’m concerned, Pornhub is a much more efficient wank, with the added bonus of not having to listen to fuckwits talking bollocks.

Before you start, no, that’s not proof that I’ve seen it. I just remember a news story from a year or two ago, stating that one of the contestants thought Brexit was a tree or some shit. That sealed the deal for me.

I could go on a big holier than thou rant about how its turning us into a nation narcissistic morons.

I could talk about role models, body image, suicide, expectations and vanity, but I won’t.

I won’t because a) I can’t be fucked b) That rant should be against the whole medium, not just this show and c) I haven’t fucking seen it.

It would also be a tad hypocritical of me considering that in the past I’ve enjoyed both Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity.

Who knows, I might get hooked if I try it like so many people tell me I will, but I also know I’d get hooked if I tried crack, it’s not a good enough reason.

Maybe I just resent the ignorance of youth? It’s not their fault that they’re thick as fuck, and who am I to judge, they’re having more sex and fun than me.

It’s no lie that I like posting these ramblings, but at the minute it’s just not giving me anything back, and as much as I enjoy it, I do it to try and make a little extra cash on side. So, if you’re able, please consider helping me with my booze fund.

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