David Cameron admits he’s addicted to crackling
Almost a full hour has passed since a Tory has confessed to injecting smack directly into his or her eye ball.
I don’t know what’s going on, but the conspiracist in me thinks that Rupert Murdoch has finally decided that the next Prime Minister should be Boris, and as a result has asked all the other candidates to fall on their swords.
Only joking, that would imply cunning, forethought and planning.
They either think they’re appealing to the yoof, are gearing up to legalise every single drug so that everyone can self medicate through the hell of the post Brexit dystopia, or they’re just taking attention away from a government nonce ring after Treeza ‘found’ some files.
Whatever the reason, it’s fucking bizarre. How far will this one-upmanship go?
Will William Hague admit that he prefers Tetley Tea to Yorkshire Tea?
Will David Cameron profess his love for cracking live or dead? All will be revealed in the next few hours.
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