Exclusive tripe and beans menu launched in bid to save Jamie’s ailing restaurants
Chequered shirt enthusiast and school dinner ruiner, Jamie Oliver, is facing a total collapse of his restaurant chain.
With up to 1,300 jobs at risk, the triple lipped prick is said to be ‘mortified’, and is already working on a foraging guide for his soon to be ex-employees.
Never one to give up hope though, the tiny toothed Twizzler denier is launching a new post Brexit menu in a last-ditch attempt to save his doomed chain.
In a shit mockney accent, ejecting bits of sputum as he spoke, he said;
“I’m super excited about, pukka, this, pukka, new endeavor.
“Catering, exclusively for, pukka poor people, we’ve kept the range simple, pukka, and inexpensive, up the apples and pairs, stairs”.
“For example, for a cheeky starter, pukka, you can try our amazing chicken feet in a tramps piss jus”.
“Mains consist of readily available, locally sourced pukka ingredients, like our new Spam carbonara, or black pudding burgers”.
The exciting new menu goes live tonight, at 7:00pm across Oliver’s whole estate.
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