MPs to get a two grand wage rise because they’re doing such a smashing job

MPs to get a two grand wage rise because they’re doing such a smashing job

28th February 2019 Off By Tuckered

Members of Parliament are getting a two grand wage rise on April 1st, and it’s not even a fucking April Fools Day gag.

Are they taking the piss? An above inflation rise for what exactly, butchering Brexit by scratching their nads for two years whilst the deadline hurtles towards us like fucking Gemma Collins to cakes and cameras?

Fuck me, they’ve turned procrastination into an art form. They’ve gone extinguisher shopping whilst the building burns to the ground.

They’re putting on a condom after the doctor said it’s triplets, they’re absolutely fucking useless.

At least when a builder fucks you over after sucking air through his teeth and adding two grand to the bill there’s something to show for it.

I didn’t realise it’s the same in the demolition industry.

“Yeah mate, I know you only wanted one house knocking down but I’ve done three innit so you’ve got more space an that. sucks air I’m gonna need to add two grand to the estimate though bruv for overheads”.

We’ve got homeless people dying on the streets, nurses using foodbanks, fire fighters being fucking blamed for tragedies, and these self-serving cunts are getting a new flower allowance for their second homes.

I think I need a change of career. I’m pretty sure I could repeat bullshit sound bites, nod off at meetings and relentlessly fuck up without consequence for 80k a year.

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