They’re not pre-drinks they’re just drinks you insufferable cunts

They’re not pre-drinks they’re just drinks you insufferable cunts

9th February 2019 Off By Tuckered

In my day, before all the pleasure was sucked out of this shit existence we call life, when you could enjoy a pint and a fag in a nice warm cancer cloud whilst reading the paper, we knew where we stood.

We knew that we had a cut off period of 2am to get ready, get twatted, get twatted in a bad way (possibly) then get laid, if we were lucky that is, before you needed 2 forms of ID, 3 witnesses, and a fucking written contract.

It worked. Everyone went out at the same time, and when I say everyone it’s because there were actually other people!

You didn’t need a fucking 1266366% APR payday loan either to impress your dick head mates with a bottle of Grey Goose.

Drinks were cheap and plentiful, 2 double vodka Redbulls were a fiver, and cheeky Vimto was fucking exotic.

Now it costs a bomb to get pissed, this is what happens when you’re complicit in paying a fucking fiver for a coffee in some tax evading shit hole for 20 years. Cunts like you normalised this shit.

Everywhere is open all night now, meaning everyone goes out at a different fucking times and you all think you’re civilised don’t you?

Listen. There’s nothing civilised about necking fucking Prosecco in your flat and getting so shit faced that you don’t know where you are before you’ve even fucking left.

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