Bin dipper comprised of 78% sausage meat and 22% smug dies in anti-vegan fury wank

Bin dipper comprised of 78% sausage meat and 22% smug dies in anti-vegan fury wank

4th January 2019 1 By Tuckered

7ft tall turbo gimp and serial eaves dropper, Piers Morgan, has tragically died after furiously masturbating over a real meat sausage roll, it has been announced.

The permanently outraged Good Morning Britain presenter reportedly walked into his local branch of Greggs yesterday, before smashing up a counter containing their new vegan sausage rolls, whilst shouting incomprehensible gibberish at staff.

One eye-witness stated that he then fell to his knees and began furiously masturbating over the traditional pastry wrapped treats, before “collapsing to the floor like a blancmange chucked off a bridge.”

Twitter was rife with tributes from Morgan’s tens of fans as the sad news came flooding in, with Katie Hopkins Tweeting;

“Yet another warrior brother lost to the Muslamic, vegan, PC brigade, RIP fair prince.”

No one from GMB was prepared to comment, however, Greggs have reported a massive rise in the sale of vegan sausage rolls since the incident.

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