Ecuadorian Embassy considering transferring Julian Assange to Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul
American State secret exposer, and cheap holiday enthusiast, Julian Assange, has threatened to sue the Ecuadorian government this week.
The tentless camper, who has been holed up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, after nipping in for a brew in 2014, is said to be angry at the government for “violating his freedoms”, after they stopped communicating with him.
If Assange sets foot outside the Embassy, it likely that he’ll be immediately extradited to the US.
But worse than that, he still hasn’t returned that library book, and his cat is bound to be dead by now.
Fucked off with Assange’s alleged poor hygiene, the Ecuadorian government have already threatened to remove his political asylum and not let him have supper if he doesn’t wash his hands.
However, Saudi Arabia have now stepped up and offered Mr. Assange all the protections he is already accustomed to, it has been reported.
Technically, all Mr. Assange would need to do is travel to the Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul, where officials have offered to “take care of him.”
“I hope he takes the bloodyoffer.” Said, John Sinclair, an Embassy employee who wishes to remain anonymous.
“He fucking reeks of cum and there’s shitty underwear all over the gaff.”
“If the internet goes down for a second he kicks off like a spoilt little kid, and he never brushes the bog.”
“We’re all fucking sick of it.”
Representatives for Mr. Assange have declined to comment on the situation and it is not yet known if the transfer will happen.