Angry gammon not dressing in flags tomorrow because ‘she’s not a proper Royal’
Tomorrow some relation to the Queen is getting married or some shit.
I think it’s the daughter of that ginger one they don’t like, but I might be wrong.
Anyway, usually at times like this the air is electric with frothing gammon putting out deck chairs, clad in their finest Union Flags, as they excitedly anticipate glancing one of their betters.
The favour will be repaid of course, with either a cautious handshake or dagger of disdain, before the parade ebs futher down the rabble line.
Royal weddings are usually a massive, massive deal for these grain brained, bed wetting, simpletons.
So much so that the revenue generated through tourism and television deals almost justifies the cost to the tax payer.
Not this time though sadly. Not when you’re more famous for your mam having her fucking toes sucked than you are for being related to the Queen.
Even the shelf browed, hump backed, royal bummers won’t appreciate funding this fucking non event.
They might grudgingly cough up for a do at the local working mens club, a prawn cocktail ring from Iceland, and that fifty quid wedding DJ who played at their Sandra’s, but that’s about it.
They won’t be getting all teary eyed about this one though, that’s for sure.
You can tell that just by reading the comments section of the Daily Mail Facebook page, which, incidentally, is a great gammometer of backward opinion.
“She’s not even proper roytly!!!1 Not lyk are Kate.”
“Who the fuck do they fink they are?? Am not fuckin payin for it an that’s a fact!!”
Are the type of priceless musings you’ll find amongst a sea of Americans saying “Who?”
Either way, its tomorrow and will probably be streamed live on ITV4 or some other shit channel.