Stop fucking about with your phone whilst driving

Stop fucking about with your phone whilst driving

10th August 2018 0 By Tuckered

What could possibly be so important to you in your shitty little existence, that makes you think it’s acceptable to put everyone else on the road at risk?

I mean, I could probably just about understand it if you were an ex Foreign Secretary for example, who’d just pissed petrol all over the media then set it alight, and now wants to check if he’s king of the cunts yet.

He’s probably got a chauffeur though and millions of followers on Twitter.

Why are you on your phone Mandy? Is it to count how many of your 42 friends liked that picture of the fucking trio of desserts you posted last night?

What about you Trevor? Checking if your bet came in on Paddy Power?

Yey! You won £78 quid off a fiver but also maimed a little girl because you couldn’t wait the 12 minutes it takes you to get home you cunt.

You can see them can’t you, looking down at their laps and laughing like baboons with erections.

The light is on amber, look up you cunt and set off! Don’t fucking delay me by 1.5 seconds or I’ll fucking horn you, you prick.

It’s actually worse being a pedestrian at night, trying to cross a busy road and seeing all those gormless fucking mugs lit up in blue, like confused Harry Potter ghosts.

Just fucking stop it, you’re driving around in a tonne of metal at 70mph, now is not the time to play Words with Friends, or see what cringworthy bollocks Morrisey is spouting on Twitter.

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