America slowly waking from its ‘what the fuck did we do?’ haze
The dust is settling over a Presidentless America again this morning.
He’s been busy weeding out fake news, pissing off Royals, playing golf, avoiding balloons, and patronising Scots on the other side of the world.
But back home FOX News is slowly losing its grasp over the masses. The psychic link is weak without Trump’s dulcet, bile filled tones placating them over the airwaves.
Americans are still under his hypnotic spell, just, but it’s waning. There’s only so much archive footage of Trump being a cunt, and it’s running out.
As a result, millions of Patriots will wake up today and inspect their MAGA caps before blindly wearing them.
They’ll ask themselves ‘what the fuck is this?’ or realise with horror that the guy off The Apprentice is their fucking President.
It’s far from over though. As soon as that blancmange Robotnik lands back in the US, the psychic link will be fully restored, and Americans will go back to seeing him as nothing less than the God of Stable Genius.
This is where Blighty steps in. For next 48 hours we need to remind our American cousins what Trump is.
Skype them, text them, or call them! Tell them they elected a racist dementia sufferer, an orange assaulter, a fucking narcissistic baby cager.
Let them know he’s a pussy grabbing wall coveter, a Matalan besuited, pea crushing, bollocks warbler. A fucking giant white eyed word muddler.
Don’t let them forget that he’s a woman hating, Mexican baiting, piss enthusiast. A Russian rimming, contempt brimming, walking fucking car crash.
Come on! It’s our only hope!