Dame Helen Mirren to stand in for The Queen on President Trump’s UK visit
National treasure and world class actress, HRH Queen Elizabeth II has asked Dame Helen Mirren to take her place when meeting President Trump later on today.
The Queen, who has been dreading Trump’s for visit for months is alleged to have said:
‘I’ve met some of the leaders of the harshest and most brutal regimes on earth, but one can’t bear speaking to that inbred fuck knuckle.’ Sources reveal.
Although President Trump has only seen The Queen portrayed in films and on a postage stamp, Dame Helen Mirren is reportedly nervous about the meeting.
‘I can act happy, sad, or furious, but being sincere to that 7ft twat jawed gimp is going to be a real challenge.’ She may have been overheard saying to an anonymous homeless man in Hartlepool.
It has also been reported that a caravan with a castle style fascia has been set up for the meeting 5 miles down the road from Buckingham Palace.
It is not yet known if Prince Philip will meet the President yet, or if they’ll just go with plan B and dig up Brucie.