If your kids won’t stop playing Fortnite then fucking parent them!

I know we’re not in 1870, or Reese-Mogg Manor where children, if not with the nanny, should be seen and not heard, but come on!

“Jonny has been playing Fortnight for 63 hours solid! He’s shat himself and won’t eat his tea. When I ask him stop he spits at me and calls me a twat.”

Well I’m sorry love but little Jonny is a cunt and you’re a shit mum. Yeast would do a better job at raising your fucking kids than you.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Punishing kids is the easiest it has ever been!

Fuck breaking a sweat with your slipper, just take the fucking phone away, or the power lead for the PS4.

If you’re going to let a 10 year old rule the roost then do us all a favour and bag up.

I know some kids have issues with ADHD and other disorders, but I’d happily let them assault me or smash up the room rather than give in to them playing a fucking game for three days solid. Get a fucking grip.

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