Hay fever sufferers the new vegans

How can they be allergic to summer? Does oxygen make them ill as well, and water a little queasy for fuck sake?

If summer were a party, hay fever sufferers would be the ones that get too pissed and demand Abba’s Waterloo is played on repeat, before finally bursting into tears and ruining it for everyone else.

I don’t think they’re a new phenomenon, like everyone just started cry sneezing in the last heatwave, but I’m pretty sure they were a lot less fucking moany about it in the past.

They’re like vegans, they’re compelled to tell you!

As soon as a cloud stops obscuring the sun for twenty seconds, allowing the tiniest slither of light, they’re sneezing at you and listing all the medications they’re on.

“Piranase does nothing, Claratyne is useless…”

Stop fucking taking them then you fucking flower fearing pussies. Quick! Run! The pollen is coming!

Blow your nose, wipe your eyes and enjoy the fucking rays like every other fucker, you whining cunts.

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