Patriots are dicks
Why are people proud of being British, of a flag, and a leeching Monarchy?
Rewind back to the 90’s and being Patriotric was a whole different story. It was a celebration of culture, things like the Mini, Brit pop and art etc.
Now Britain feels cold, divisive and isolated. Fuck culture, we’re all about the flag and dreams of a 40’s all white Utopia that never fucking existed.
It’s not Patriotism any longer, it’s Nationalism.
I equate it to religion. You’re basically proud of your parents shagging here then staying.
If you happened to be born in Pakistan you’d most likely be a Muslim, likewise if you were born in Ireland you probably won’t be worshipping Vishnu.
You’re proud of chance, which is fucking madness. If you find a tenner on the floor you’re happy for a fleeting moment, but you don’t celebrate it for the rest of your life with a superiority complex.
You may be proud of winning World War II, why? YOU didn’t fucking win it, YOU probably weren’t even a fucking Tinder swipe in a horny fucker’s eye.
Maybe it’s the olden days you crave? Simpler times when we all lived in a Manor, with staff on hand, games of cricket on the green and a fucking Bentley on the drive?
Well I’ve got new for you sunshine, if you work in a call centre today, then this was never the life your family had.
Back then your relatives were probably working 60 hours down a mine with no weekends, free healthcare, or barely enough money to feed themselves. Wave your fucking flags to that.
Maybe you’re proud of Britain now? If you are then you’re as dense as diamond.
Yeah let’s have a street party and celebrate child poverty, mass homelessness and Naziesque deportations. Gawd bless the Queen!
If for some insane reason you actually like this shite please consider a small donation, or a fucking massive one if you're wedged. Borderline alcoholism is an expensive mistress.
Donate with PayPal here