The UK is falling apart quicker than a Brexit argument, with an NHS is crisis, a paper thin blue line, millions living in poverty and a homelessness epidemic to boot.
Food banks are also just another part of life now like vegans, or body shaming. Concepts that only a few short years ago would have been considered more absurd than Joey from Friends presenting Top Gear, or a six foot, twat jawed, hay haired fuckwit Presiding over one of the world’s biggest super powers.
Then there’s our wonderful employment record, statistics I’d definitely believe if everyone serving fried things, or boxing up your Amazon shit weren’t promised a grand total of fuck all hours in their contracts.
Local councils are so underfunded that they’re actually considering fining homeless people, which is like asking me for that 20 quid back on the 29th. It’s not fucking happening pal.
Finally there’s our roads, which make Amazonion dirt tracks trampled by herding elephants look like a fucking spa for your tyres by comparison.
There’s Roman roads in better condition than my fucking High street. I keep hearing about funding to sort this shit out, so what are they doing with it, filling the holes with fifty pound notes? Because from where I’m standing it looks they’re using buckets of fuck all.
The way things are going I’m surprised the government isn’t employing people to roll homeless, comatose, spice heads into them to kill two birds with one fucking stone.
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