There’s going to be a bit of snow, don’t start panic buying bread

There’s going to be a bit of snow, don’t start panic buying bread

26th February 2018 0 By Tuckered

Being told to be home by 6pm does not mean you’re going to be snowed in for the next 6 months, bread will still be available tomorrow like the futility of life and your crushed hopes and dreams.

It’s the same everytime we get a bit of fucking snow isn’t it? Millions of cunts clogging up the aisles like pieces of fat in a yank’s artery, fighting over Hovis and semi skimmed milk as if it were oxygen in a broken lift.

Stop it. It’s embarrassing. Russia and Canada are laughing at you like me see when I see an Audi on an icy hill.

Warburton’s must be creaming themselves at the prospect of selling ten loaves per person, we’re the only country in the world that buys more bread than grit when it snows. You’re not fucking Jesus.

Why couldn’t people settle for toast during the great KFC shortage of 2018, instead of phoning the police like a startled pensioner glancing a teenager at night?

Get a fucking grip you simple, grasping twats. You think Blitz spirit will get us through Brexit? Try panic buying when there’s fuck all left on the shelves and a loaf is a fiver. Cunts.

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