They won’t give anything to the homeless because it’s the government’s fault, they’ve had the same poppy for seven years and they won’t buy a poor kid a Christmas gift because they have issues with Amazon’s fucking tax arrangements.
It’s the same every fucking year, millions of cunts clogging up the aisles like pieces of fat in a yanks artery, fighting over Hovis and Semi Skimmed as if it were oxygen in a broken lift.
Dad spends £300 on watch to confirm he gets no sleep
Your virtue signalling has been noted and we all think you’re being a bit of a cunt. A couple of… Continue reading
The once a year drinker is a strange beast. Wearing a Georgio ArAsda jacket from circa ’97, he’s Mr. Quiet all year round, then like a shit Banana Man he magically transforms after a whiff of shandy. He becomes 70’s Bloke! An inexplicable brown kipper tie appears accross his chest and his trousers mysteriously flare. Every Jaeger Bomb unlocks a new twat level, and he goes from Clarksoned to Manninged in just 4 drinks.
We rarely riot when we see injustice, just tut, shrug and declare how utterly fucking shit it is.
Sir Bob Geldof is shouting ‘fuck’ at random strangers and the people of Africa are sending him hampers of oysters, beluga cavier and vintage cases of Châteauneuf-Du-Pape.
Every time somebody says ‘but it’s Amazon’ a fairy dies and a child doesn’t get a present at Christmas16th December 2017
Every time a twat says “but it’s Amazon” a fucking fairy dies and a child doesn’t get a present this… Continue reading
I couldn’t be fucked even watching that video. If I want to see a snotty kid crying for 10 minutes I’ll tell my son Santa is a load of bollocks. He’d be mortified, but 17 year olds are such snow flakes these days.