You know the ones, they won’t give anything to the homeless because it’s the government’s fault, they’ve had the same poppy for seven years and they won’t buy a poor kid a Christmas gift because they have issues with Amazon’s fucking tax arrangements.
Well thankfully not everyone is like that. Satire Aid was an overwhelming success and that’s in no small part down to my readers.
The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People In Local News Papers and I are amazed that The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal did so fucking amazingly well.
Since its launch I’ve been genuinely touched by some of the things that happened along the way. We’ve had people buying gifts from over seas, we filled an empty warehouse in Fife and we bought every kid in social care in Rochdale multiple presents. All of us, together.
It didn’t change the way Amazon pays its tax but it will make a fuck tonne of kids smile on Christmas morning and that’s what this was all about.
So. For the last time this year I thought you brilliant bastards deserved a final update;
You bought 22,000 gifts!
You spent £150,000!
This is what you bought
1055 packs of Crayons
753 copies of the Grufalo
535 copies of Paddington’s Little Library
And more than 2,000 boxes of Lego!
Mission Christmas are struggling with the sheer volume of gifts which is unprecedented, because we inundated both Leeds and Manchester.
Your generosity so overwhelmed Metro Radio’s Mission Christmas appeal in Gateshead that we had to spend the day on the phone to Amazon asking them to ship the gifts to a warehouse (donated by the incredible people at the logistics company Simpson Bros) because there was no longer any room in the lobby!
If you want, you can still donate a gift to Mission Christmas. The cheapest one is under 2 quid.
Just go to www.satireaid.co.uk choose a gift and we’ll send it to them to pass on to a kid in need.
Thank you so much and fuckity bye.