Every time somebody says ‘but it’s Amazon’ a fairy dies and a child doesn’t get a present at Christmas

Christmas Children

Every time a twat says “but it’s Amazon” a fucking fairy dies and a child doesn’t get a present this Christmas.

I’ve been banging on about poverty this year pretty much non-stop and you all seem to be pretty much in agreement with me on this. The fact that there are kids without fucking shoes in a first world country is a fucking outrage.

I can guarantee you this. The parents who’ve been left behind by this thundering clusterfuck of a government and can’t afford to buy their children a pair of shoes are going to be either choosing between buying a pack of pissing crayons or eating food this Christmas.

All the time I hear people whining “somebody should do something” well here’s a thought; why don’t WE do something about it.

Together with our friends at The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, The Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Newspapers and the really weird Garlic Bread Memes we’ve done just that.

We set up an Amazon wish list with a bunch of toys on it and put the delivery address for several different charities, including Barnardos and Salvation Army, who are distributing presents to kids without a pot to piss in and; fuck me sideways; you heroes have bought 23,000 presents worth about £155,000 quid so far!

BUT. We can still do more. There are about 40,000 children in Yorkshire and Lancashire alone that are living below the poverty line. So while we’re feeling pretty chuffed to have done what we’ve done there’s still loads more to do.

If you can afford £1.23 you can go on our wishlist and buy a packet of crayons and a kid will be playing with them on Christmas morning. If you can afford more there are loads of options available on the list to suit any and all budgets.

If you genuinely can’t afford to buy anything, then you can still do something. Share this appeal. Tweet this appeal. Tell your friends to go to www.satireaid.co.uk and buy something. It’s that simple.

And before you say “but it’s Amazon” I fucking know. But if you have another way of instantly buying 10,000 presents for children with holes in their socks a gift in the next three fucking days, I’m all ears.

In the meantime, suck it up, don’t be a cunt and get involved.

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One thought on “Every time somebody says ‘but it’s Amazon’ a fairy dies and a child doesn’t get a present at Christmas”

  1. This is amazing but I’m trying to buy something via the wishlist, and it seems to want to deliver to my home address. Will it definitely end up in the right place? Cheers.

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