Trevor Tompkins was mortified last week after getting a suit fitting for the upcoming wedding of his best friend Michael Watkins.
“I couldn’t believe it, I’m 23 stone and I’ve always had a 42 inch waist for as long as I can remember” he said.
“I used to to brag about my pants being the same size as our tele, but that cunt at the tailors said it’s actually 62 inches. That’s bigger than a fucking cinema.”
Mr. Tompkins’ wife Marlene said; “He’s a right fat bastard. He thought he was ok because he could still buy his trousers from the supermarket and not the big and tall shop.”
She continued; “I fucking told the daft twat he was wearing them wrong but he always said he’d look like an 80 year old if belted up under his tits.”
Mr. Tompkins has now vowed to lose weight after Christmas, as he earns extra income being Santa at his local BHS in December.