Toblerone now more expensive than crack cocaine
The awkward chocolate bar and shit make shift dildo has gradually rocketed in price since the thick half of Britain decided that 1895 was a cracking year.
Once the treat of the elite, right up there with Viscount and Ferrero Rocher, the crap toast rack soon became accessible to the common man, often spotted in pound shops, but in the last few months the price has escalated quicker than Nigel Farage in a golden lift.
Gram for gram Toblerone is now more expensive than crack cocaine with a street value of £9.85 per triangle, or half a Freddo bar.
Baz Chocolar, who’s real name we’ve obscured because he doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s called Terry Smith said;
“I’m known as the Pharoah because I deal in pyramids innit. Most people buy a Q (a quarter of a triangle) and grate it into hot chocolate as a treat because it’s so expensive.”
We asked Hot Chocolate to comment but he didn’t because he’s dead.
WHILST YOU'RE HERE:
People are actively trying to get Tuckered shut down by repeatedly reporting my content. It has taken three years to gain 84,000 followers and it would be a shame to lose such an audience due to one bitter twat. So, please follow my backup page in case the worst happens.
Facebook have also demonitised my content;
So, if you actually like this shit, please consider making it worth my while by supporting the page with a small donation (or a massive one if you're wedged).
Donate with PayPal here