Don’t panic if your GCSE results are shit because the most powerful man in the world is also a thick cunt
So, you got a D in maths? Who gives a fuck? Donald Trump proves you can become anything you want to be with sheer grit, determination, and a small loan of a million dollars from your billionaire dad.
I mean look at him. That geriatric senile old shit bag is more embarrassing than when your mam used to pick you up from primary school pissed. Remember that? No? Just me then.
I digress. If you work really really hard and never give up, even when all the fake news is against you, you to could one day be a divisive, racist, orange old hyper cunt with a penchant for fake tan, fake media, toupees and fucking red buttons.
All you need is a belief in yourself, the support of millions of shit knuckle dragging Nazis, $7 billion in the bank, and a little help from a psychopathic Meerkat.
So never give up on your dreams. You’re not destined to work at Burger King forever, well some of you are obviously. We can’t all make America great again, some of us have to keep it fucking morbidly obese to.
If you like this shit then why not buy me a beer?
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