Nigel Farage heartbroken after learning The Daily Express is seeing Jacob Rees-Mogg behind his back

Nigel Farage heartbroken after learning The Daily Express is seeing Jacob Rees-Mogg behind his back

Eternal Brexit optimist and mouthpiece of arse holes, The Daily Express, has been brown nosing Jacob Rees-Mogg so much lately that its face is covered in elite pedigree shit.

Traditionally Nigel Farage has always been the poster boy for the expensive toilet roll, but recently he appears to have been ditched for an even greater tosser, and no amount of fuckery by the stringless Thunderbird puppet can change that, even the suggestion of a second referendum.

Ray Cist, a cab driver from Barnsley, Brexiter and avid Express reader said:

“Nigel who? He’s served his pupose now and he’s too busy cosying up to that Trump. Rees-Mogg is gonna be our next PM plain and simple. He’s strong unlike Theresa and he speaks the truth. He’s just like one of us, except he’s landed gentry an’ that.”

Readers shouldn’t worry about their favourite paper too much however, as it still features daily updates about snowmageddon, leaving the EU, traitorous terrorist MP’s from the left and pictures of your favourite deceased Princess.

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