Gym owners across the country have been rubbing their hands together at the prospect of millions of people stepping through their doors to setup a 12 month direct debit, comment on the ambience, then leave never to be seen again.
‘Today is the first day of the rest of our lives’ lied millions of fatties to themselves as they enrolled at their local gyms for inductions, which included pressing buttons and saying things like ‘that looks hard’.
23 stone Barry Burford, standing outside Gym’ll Fix It in Rotherham said; “I’ve signed up for a year, 30 quid a month, but to be honest it’s a bit of a trek from my house and there’s no pool. Oh well, not much I can do about it now.”
The news comes after millions of others thought about starting a diet today, but then realised it’s Tuesday, and that next Monday is a much better day to start eating salad and being depressed.