Mandy Jones, a school teacher from Hyde, was left dumfounded this evening when her husband, train driver Keith, suggested they watch BBC 2 at 8pm to “check out some Christmas recipes.”
“He hates cooking” she said.
“For the last few years we’ve eaten out on Christmas day to save all the hassle, but tonight he was intent on watching Nigella for inspiration.”
Mr. Jones defended his decision, saying to his wife; “I know I have Match of the Day recorded, but I just thought we could get some ideas for Christmas. We should eat at home this year with the family. Also I think Nigella is doing a special on Chistmas day about what to do with the leftovers.”
Mrs. Jones responded; “Bollocks, it’s her tits isn’t it, and all that suggestive finger licking with that sleazy background music?”
“You hate cooking and celebrity chefs. You called Jamie Oliver a pillow tongued cunt and Gordon Ramsay road map face. You think I’m stupid but I can see right through you.”
The couple reportedly compromised and settled on The Martin Lewis Money Show on ITV instead.