Shall we tell scrape wankers the magic water trick?

Shall we tell scrape wankers the magic water trick?

What the fuck are they doing? You see them every morning in winter ruining their fucking debit cards, painstakingly scraping away inch after inch of 1mm thick ice. Have they got really cool bosses or are they sad enough to set off to work early?

Pour some fucking water on it you daft cunts. 2 seconds and boom! No fucking ice!

I know why they won’t do it. They see us with our kettles and think in a nasal model train collector’s voice;

“Silly man. He’s going to crack his windscreen with hot water. He hasn’t thought this through. I’ll keep scraping, safe in the knowledge that I won’t have to get Gavin from Autoglass to fill my crack in.”

Well guess what. The water is fucking cold! Yes. You read that right. We don’t live in Canada and it won’t instantly freeze. Instead it just melts our pathetic British ice in 3 seconds flat. Now you know.

So who’s the clever cunt now eh? Yes, Halfords sell scrapers but PC World sells extended warranty and these are the same dick heads who whip out their credit cards as soon as the salesman suggests something might break.

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