Highlight of Trump’s presidency lasted precisely 11 minutes

The tiny handed perma tanned shit gibbon hadn’t verbally shat out a half baked, ill conceived, and poorly articulated observation for 10 minutes! Had Kim Jong Un attacked? Even worse, was Twitter down?

Yesterday a departing Twitter employee deactivated President Trump’s Twitter account as a parting gift to the rest of the world.

For 11 solid minutes there was a sense of calm and sanity in the air, the likes of which the planet hasn’t seen since 2013. It was nice and familiar again, like Mary Berry or slippers.

Unfortunately that serenity didn’t last long as 67,000 bigoted followers searched for their Führer in unison, as if awoken by a far right Borg queen.

What was happening?? The tiny handed perma tanned shit gibbon hadn’t verbally shat out a half baked, ill conceived, and poorly articulated observation for 10 minutes! Had Kim Jong Un attacked? Even worse, was Twitter down?

They complained in their droves like middle aged women huddled around a customer service counter in Asda on a Saturday afternoon when you just want to buy some fucking fags.

Alas service was promptly restored and we were awaken from our slumber to the fucking never ending shit dystopian waking nightmare we now call reality.

Balance was restored and the wizened face old dementia sufferer was angrier than when a nutter shot at a massive crowd. Back to square fucking one.

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