BBC axes Crimewatch to reflect the lack of Police

BBC axes Crimewatch to reflect the lack of Police

17th October 2017 0 By Tuckered

As post Brexit hate crimes rise quicker than Nigel Farage’s blood pressure outside a Polski Sklep, the BBC has pulled the iconic series after 33 years.

After all, what’s the point in appealing to the public to identify criminals when there’s no fucker about to make the arrests? That’s like appealing to America to embrace salad.

The Tories have cut more pigs than an abattoir since 2010 resulting in a Mad Max style dystopian present, only milder.

Police these days are becoming ever more impotant. Long gone are the Bobbies on the beat of old, dishing out thick ears to unruly kids. If they tried that now they’d get kicked to death by a group of 10 years, or sued.

Now if you see a Copper you’re tempted to grab your fucking autograph book. They’re like celebrities. In fact recent studies show you’re more likely to see somone from Emmerdale.

They’re a mythical threat, or protector, depending on which side of the law you’re on.

Pot heads can now chong away on super strength skunk with relative impunity, and you can phone 101 and fill in a survey with some spot ridden school leaver as you watch your stolen car being torched from accross the road.

It’s all good though, we’ll sort out our own problems in this big society. The few police left can concentrate on the paper work as online paedo hunters sort out our nonces, and we can get on with our pitchfork lynchings.

Fuck Crime Watch. Just replace it with 45 minutes of hate, then we can all take to Facebook and be Judge, jury and executioner.


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