Cordon thinks he’s Ricky Gervais but he’s more like Ricky Tomlinson – Only funny when someone else is writing
I’m not going to get all morally outraged about that fat bastard cracking rape jokes whilst the victims are still coming forward quicker than Weinstein’s colleagues to condemn the cunt, but I will get angry about the quality of them. I’ve seen funnier gags on a fucking hostage.
I know where he’s coming from, don’t get me wrong. He’s British, like Ricky Gervais. He can be controversial too, like Ricky Gervais. It’s just a crying fucking shame he doesn’t have comedy, or timing, like Ricky Gervais.
Cordon breaking America like his last deck chair still eludes me. I mean, they’re shallower than a paddling pool in a drought over there, and he’s hardly got the classic looks or physique of a star.
He looks like a knifed a bag of onions with a trendy haircut. A 35 year old post op transsexual who’s just been given the correct hormone dosage. A middle aged furry lipped lesbian with the inexplicable confidence of a footballer on crack.
He’s a squealing burst helium balloon of cunt. Sausage meat moulded into a humanoid shape by a clever chimp. He’s a cheeky mockney wanker. He’s a lad isn’t he? One of the boys, with a glint in his eye that you can just make out through one oh his fat slits.
Keep him America. You’re fucking welcome.
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