After an excruciating and calamitous speech in which Theresa May croaked like Bruce Forsyth, dropped an ‘E’ and was handed her P45, one would assume she’d just been unlucky, like a disabled person under a Tory government. Or anyone else under a Tory government.
However, just moments into the speech, the bumbling blonde haired walking disaster area, Micheal Fabricant, said that as he looked over towards Boris Johnson “he was laughing maniacally and clutching a mini Theresa May doll”.
Another eye witness reported that everytime Mr. Johnston stuck a pin in the doll, Theresa May would cough or “chat shit”.
It has not been confirmed yet, but there were also rumours going around that Mr. Johnson paid comedian Lee Nelson with a solid gold antique monocle outside the venue just before the speech, and that he was also seen “pulling a fishing line” at another point later in the speech.