Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

After appointing Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from ‘the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally’ – Daily Mail, in the last leaders debate.

The Supreme Commander of the Strong and Stable Great State of Little England, Treesa May, has ruled out appearing in the upcoming General Election, stating;

“People don’t need to see my strong and stable form during the Election, as they have done countless times in my strong and stable debates at PMQ’s.”

“My time would be better spent being strong and stable elsewhere, campaigning for strength and stability against a coalition of chaos lead by a naked, IRA loving Jeremy Corbyn.”

Rumours have already started circulating around Westminster about who Mrs. May will appoint to stand in for her, with Boris Johnson as odds on favourite closely followed by the corpse of Margaret Thatcher.

What the fuck are you doing now you half witted shit Biff?

I thought I’d fucking finished with you after the failed Muslim ban and your media black out of science. Who’s advising you? A fucking superstitious 14th century Monk slash wizard? 

You’re thicker than a yanks thigh, you fucking jaundice, geriatric cunt.  How the fuck did you win? Did you promise everyone free food and guns? 

Ruining everyone’s health care is one thing but what have you got against fucking polar bears and great grand kids?

It’s not fucking ‘fake news’ Donny. It’s decades of research carefully carried out by experts. No, not the type of experts who used to advise you on how to evade tax, fucking scientists like the ones you banned from talking to the press.

I know it’s all about the art of the fucking deal with you but at what cost?  This is the fucking planet we’re talking about, not stock. Your country is the second biggest pollutant in the world. It chucks out more harmful gasses than you on the shitter. 

For Christ’s sake, even China are signed up to this deal and they eat fucking Fido. 

You’re an embarrassment, a saggy faced, loose chinned twat nadger, a fucking tiny wandering handed, toupéd toss pot. If you had a brain you’d be fucking dangerous you ginger, piss guzzling, pussy grabbing gob shite. 

You’re a toxic, alt-human, thin skinned groper. A gold obsessed, miniature hand waving  philanderer, and a Mexican hating, Putin rimming, cretin rousing, pussy alarmer. 

Fuck you, you wall building, bile filled, truth skewer.


What the fuck are you playing at Tiny Tim?

You can’t win a cunt off with that bewigged Toby Jug. Andrew Neil is Prince of Pricks, Tsar of Twats, fucking King Cunt.  What were you thinking? 

You’ve just shat all over the tiny percentage of moderate tory votes you’ve been collecting like fucking stamps for the last year.

I don’t usually bother Tuckering Lib Dems. It’s like shooting cunts in a barrel, or watching fucking Eurovision.  It’s a massive waste of time and it just makes me angry.

Seriously though, I don’t get it. What was the strategy there? Talking over Andrew Neil is like arguing with The Terminator. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop… ever.

No one is going to vote for a fucking Jack Russell on coke. You left on such a high yesterday with your little Bake Off quip. You were cute as a button. Bless you. But you’ve just thrown it all away like a fucking tory promise the day after an election win.

Why are you voting Conservative? Serious question.

I mean, you’d have to be a fucking blind spunk headed degenerate to back those policies wouldn’t you? You’d need to be a terminally ignorant lobotomised Jack to buy those fucking beans.

Seriously though, this is an open forum. Convince me! I’m happy to sift through your basic black and white infantile musings, like a tramp looking for his lost gold tooth in dog shit, whilst dodging your regurgitated soundbites like May avoiding fucking debate requests.

Is it the fucking four corn flakes for breakfast promise for the kiddies? How are you going to spin that one for me? “It’s Treesa tryna fight childhood obesity innit.”

Maybe it’s the steal your inheritance promise? Oh yeah, sorry I forgot! You work in fucking Argos now but it’s only a stop gap until you’re the CEO of Barclays, because you’re going to work really hard and get on. You won’t need your mam’s house will you? You’ll have fucking 10 by then. And no terrorist sympathiser is going to tax you an extra grand when you’re earning 80.

And don’t pretend that you give a fuck about Brexit either. You’re just glad we’re out. As far as you’re concerned it’s job done. Who gives a shit how worse off we’ll all be, at least we’ll make our own rules in our ever nearing dystopia, devoid of fucking human rights.

Maybe it’s their record? You know, the clusterfuck of borrowing whilst spending fuck all, like that one mate who gets twatted on a night out with a fiver but comes back with twenty quid.

Or maybe it’s doubling homelessness? Starving the poor people or driving the disabled to suicide?

Why the fuck would you vote for these greedy self serving parasitic psychopaths? Please tell me. I want to understand the mind of fucking idiot.