Theresa May refuses to attend the General Election

After appointing Home Secretary, Amber Rudd, to take flack from ‘the most left wing audience since a Stalin rally’ – Daily Mail, in the last leaders debate.

The Supreme Commander of the Strong and Stable Great State of Little England, Treesa May, has ruled out appearing in the upcoming General Election, stating;

“People don’t need to see my strong and stable form during the Election, as they have done countless times in my strong and stable debates at PMQ’s.”

“My time would be better spent being strong and stable elsewhere, campaigning for strength and stability against a coalition of chaos lead by a naked, IRA loving Jeremy Corbyn.”

Rumours have already started circulating around Westminster about who Mrs. May will appoint to stand in for her, with Boris Johnson as odds on favourite closely followed by the corpse of Margaret Thatcher.

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