Offence is like a fine wine you can’t afford it so stop fucking taking it

The Independent went through a phase of showing women in knickers with fucking period stains because it’s ‘natural’ and ’empowering’. I didn’t like it and said so, but then people got offended at my apparent offense. I wasn’t offended, I just don’t want so see that shite when I’m eating my fucking corn flakes.

Am I wrong? Sometimes I get a bit too pissed and do a wet fart. Would you like to see me posing in my shite stained kex on your news feed? Why the fuck not? It’s perfectly natural you sexist cunt.

Everyone is outraged these days. There will people who read ‘fucking’ in the first sentence of this post and will be so outraged that instead of scrolling past, they’ll write in the comments that I’m an uneducated fool who should have his mouth washed out, usually with lots of spelling mistakes and no punctuation. You have my permission to call these people cunts. What’s washing my mouth out going to? This has been fucking typed.

It’s like we’ve all been infected with the Mary Whitehouse strain of the little bitch virus. “You have to respect my views as a celibate tri sexual veganised water worshipper.”

No. We fucking don’t. I’m an atheist. I have zero respect for any religion, but I’ll defend anyone’s right to believe what they want. I’m not offended that you believe in God, so don’t be offended that I don’t. I don’t respect religion but I do respect people who believe in it.

It’s about balance, you can disbelieve without purposely trying to be offensive and if you do that, then it is given, not needlessly taken. In that respect you have a right to be offended.

The worse people are the ones who get outraged or offended on behalf of someone else. “Dr. Dre said then N word! As a middle class white man from Kent I’m deeply offended by this on behalf of my black American brothers.” No you’re not. Shut the fuck up cunt.

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