On behalf of the human race I’d like to apologise. Over the last few months we’ve collectively decided that you all chat shit and that centuries of research and proof is all bollocks.
We’ve elected a luminous, star spangled, perma tanned, shit gibbon, in the role of world’s most powerful man.
A man who counts golf and sexual assault as his pass times, so you can userstand why he denies climate change in favour of making a quick buck and drowning his fucking great grand children in the process. The art of the fucking deal huh?
That’s over in the good old US of A though. Luckily it won’t affect us. We don’t need an ozone layer in the UK, a lobtomised dick head in a suit told me that, so fuck you experts.
No, in UK we did things differently. We listened to a pig fancying, shit Odo impersonator, hell bent on stealing votes from a bigoted Thunderbird puppet.
In doing so we ignored countless governments and economists on the say so of a twitching, bespectacled, professional back stabber and a giant toddler with a penchant for writing bollocks on the side of a bus at the detriment of all of us.
Yes, we ignored all the sensible advice because ‘we don’t need experts.’
What good are facts and figures when you can just watch someone shouting opinions at you through the tele eh?
“You’ll financially cripple yourself if you do that”
Ah but we’ll have fucking bendy bananas!
“The water level will steadily rise as all the ice melts because the ozone layer will continue to deplete, leading to eventual global catastrophe.”
Yeah but we want cheap fuel.
Even the fucking chimps think we’re idiots. So again, we’re so very sorry.
7 billion morons.