Jezza man, wake the fuck up. You’ve got three weeks…

Jezza man, wake the fuck up. You’ve got three weeks…

Jezza man, wake the fuck up. You’ve got three weeks to sort your fucking shit out. I know, I know, kinder fairer politics blah blah blah. That shit won’t wash pal. You can’t fight the fucking Nazis by throwing rose petals and expressing your disdain through the medium of interpretive dance.

The world is on the brink of nuclear war so shut the fuck up about abolishing Trident for now. We love an underdog in the UK but not a fucking liability son. So get yourself a fucking spin doctor and a suit, play the establishment game and for fuck sake memorise your notes because at the moment you sound like a confused missing grandfather at a bus station.

You won’t win, you can’t fucking win and even if you were competent, that cunt Murdoch will devour you like John Prescott with cake at a christening. Still, taking all that into consideration, a fucking brick would be better than these shower of cunts.

So, get to it, I want to see a Rocky style montage of you holding babies, people laughing at your anecdotes, you stood in a new hospital with your sleeves rolled up and your tie tucked into your shirt, and on building sites with a high visibility jacket and a hard hat. Yes, the only way you can win over the great British brainless bastards is to become a fucking mock Tory.

26 thoughts on “Jezza man, wake the fuck up. You’ve got three weeks…”

  1. There’s fuck all left where I live since the torys soul reaped the area so I’ll stick with my blind hope that Corbyn can pull it out of the bag. I’m not shitting on my own doorstep by voting for those terrorist sympathising, money stealing, pedophile protecting cockends.

  2. Exactly – play the game, just a little, suck it up, cross your fingers behind your back until you get into power then do your shit. You can’t make a difference in opposition mate.

  3. Never voted Labour in my life, but I might give Corbyn a go. I don’t agree with all of his policies, but I don’t agree with all of ANYONE’S policies. So with that negative negated, I’ll have to go with the fact that he seems nice and I’m constantly reminded of the May/Palpatine vs Corbyn/Obi Wan meme.

  4. I am so glad I have this to read… I genuinely laughed out load… The visualisation of Corbyn as a lost Grandad fits him so well… Tory fuckers will still win…just a matter of by how much…

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